Friday, November 28, 2003

Wet Paint

For the past 2 weeks I have been totally immersed in paint.  House paint that is.  There are so many choices and decisions to make, painting a room can become a career.  The best advice I can give you is:  If you can afford it... hire a painter to do it for you.  Besides brain surgery, this is one thing you really shouldn't do yourself.  If you must go it alone, wash down the walls before starting (don't groan this is important unless you want to do it over again 6 months from now), and... USE A DROP CLOTH!  I mean... cover everything in sight.  Even pets and small children if you can't put them in another room.  NEVER do it 'together' as a couple if you've been married any longer than 3 weeks.  Don't even start painting if you are planning to have a party in that room in less than one month or are simultaneously experiencing one or more other crisis's or major life changes including menopause.  Most importantly... if you ignore everything else I tell you... NEVER PAINT OVER PRIMER UNTIL IT HAS DRIED FOR A FULL 24 HOURS.  I don't care what the directions tell you.  Knowing that my mistakes have helped others avoid disaster will lessen my pain and suffering.  I looked at hundreds of shades of white once I decided that was the color I wanted to paint most of the walls and ceilings.  I finally narrowed my choices down to Whisper, Lace and Snowy White.  I had decided against Linen, Indian and Fantasy White.  But before you go dipping that brush into the can you need to know who you really are.  Are you a slob? You should consider easily washable or scrubbable paint.  Just generally messy?  Better go with spatter resistant.  Like to linger in the shower or daydream in tub?  You definitely need mildew resistant.  A klutz, perhaps?  You'll be happier with the chip, scuff and stain resistant brands that are also easy to touch up.  Painting is no longer a specialty... it's a science.  Grads have M.A.B.'s.  You laugh.  Ever hear the question, "Is Primer really necessary?" on any of the big TV game shows like 'Jeopardy'?  No!  That's because that question is too hard to answer!  Now I know what 'The Thinker' statue model was really agonizing over...  "Should I use semi-gloss or high-gloss paint on the trim?"

3 comments:

redhdka said...

You are hysterical. I know all about this. LOL ha ha last summer painted my living room five times in two weeks till I was happy and now I'm not happy anymore because I used Flat paint and my baby colored on the walls here and there and I can't get it off. I used linen white. LOL It's got like this yellow undertone. High gloss on trim if you want my opinion..thats what I'm gonna do.

lotzamoe said...

How about getting Todd fired and having him paint the house for you? Accuse him of attempting to molest your dog. Whisper in his ear that you'll hand over the pictures when he finishes the final coat. He'll do it, he's probably guilty.

somenuttychic said...

Great info -- THANK YOU! I have to paint my entire house. Love the close to this entry, too. Very clever!