Friday, February 6, 2004

Even The Surgeon General has it!

I think I may have contracted a disease.  I have a lot of symptoms.  Muscle stiffness, especially in the morning, diminishing eyesight, night blindness, decreased skin elasticity, forgetfulness, loss of hair pigmentation, weight gain, enlarged abdomen, sagging breasts, and flappy arms.  I've also noticed an increase in the desire for alcoholic beverages, especially wine, frequent intake of high calorie, high fat foods and a sudden fascination for warmer climates like Florida.  I haven't actually had the diagnosis confirmed by a doctor yet, but I'm pretty sure I know what it is, and even worse ... it's incurable and eventually fatal.  It's odd since so many people are suffering with it that there aren't any organizations soliciting research money to look for a cure.  In fact, the last person that I heard of who was actively looking for ANY kind of a treatment was Ponce DeLeon.  I'll have to tell the kids I guess.  I'm not sure how long I'll be able to continue working.  There may come a day when I'll have to stop altogether.  I think I may have gotten it from Ray.  I know HE'S been diagnosed...  I saw an AARP Card in his wallet.

13 comments:

bridgetteleigh75 said...

I've already decided I'm NEVER going to get this disease. I'm going to have perky boobs and be of child-bearing age forever. No gray hairs for me! And more importantly....no husbands who need Viagara.

=),
bridgett

karynetaylor said...

I'm right there with you. the most ridiculous question asked by a husband this week: "Why not just let your grey hairs be?"

Cuz I'm only 40, you "Distinquished looking" creeeeeep!

~ Karyn

readmereadyou said...

LOL! At my age, I knew where you were going with that. ROTFLLLLLLLLLL!

redhdka said...

I'm confused...I didn't get the joke.



LOL kidding!

alphawoman1 said...

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. I heard it was contagious. So be careful!
Mary

iwaterbeari said...

You've had me laughing for days, but this entry is a riot!

somenuttychic said...

Oh my. LOL

camaroisle050856 said...

"She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon." Groucho Marx

http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/grouchomarx.html
Wearing my age like a purple heart and proud of it!

gbgoglo said...

You have what is known as "growing old gracefullyosis"...a conditon that most of us get. The process begins somewhere in the 40's. So live, love, laugh, and be merry or make merry whatever your preference. It has a tremendous amount of discounts and freedom that goes with it. Have a neat weekend.

barebytes said...

I have to tell you.....it is what you think, it too awful to mention it's name but I know because I have it to. I've found the best way to put it off is to keep young at heart although it's all an illusion. Welcome to the real world. Hugs Lanny

chanceelynn1 said...

I came upon u by accident ..it was NO accident..I am a DFW age 52..2 children 13 and 16..I am not the only one to experience this pain but when does it end?..when will I begin to feel execitement again?...when does the the crying stop?..what IM crying for?..the therapist asked me to think of a happy time and I did..it was back when I was dating my EX.. happiness bled into pain...he saw this and he leaned to gather the falling pieces of me.. "no no..a happy feeling"

barbpinion said...

I wouldn't worry too much .. You have lots of company. Love this entry...love your humor. Take care now..If you locate a cure...e-mail me. Hope to hear from you soon. LOL
Barb--

mdkjic said...

I think I have that too! I read your symptoms and they sound alot like my own. I also have noticed the loss of pigment in my hair AND wrinkles growing around my eyes and forehead. Do you think it is an infectious disease that I caught from reading your journal?