Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Even Bigger Picture...

Alas, my 55th birthday is almost upon me. My daughters are excited because I now qualify for a discount at many of the stores they shop in. Yea, me.

With the birthday, comes the ominous signs of rapidly approaching old age. Not much I can do to stop it, but I guess I could try to slow it down a little. I have many options to chose from. Number One would be to quit smoking. Again. Soon. Yes, soon. I will commit to plan to quit. There. I feel better already. That wasn't too hard. Number Two. Lose weight. I'm sure that won't be as much fun as gaining it but, I need to do it. 

Some people would say I am procrastinating by sitting here writing an entry in my Blog instead of working out or planning a calorie diary. They would be right, but I have a very good reason. Even though I 'm not actively losing any weight at this particular moment, I'm not actively gaining any weight either. I'm making progress already! 

Personally, I find it extremely annoying when I hear one of my anorexic friends say that they have to lose 5 pounds. How the hell hard is THAT?

So... just to keep this interesting, let me tell you what trials and tribulations I feel lie ahead of me. I have to lose a minimum of 30 pounds despite being a born again, totally committed, outrageously zealous, fanatically loyal carbohydrate addict and chocoholic. Reducing even a fraction of fat, calories and carbs would be physically painful for me. ELIMINATING them will be nearly impossible. 

I'm currently on hormone replacement therapy for menopause symptoms. They do help, but I am still suffering with borderline terroristic mood swings, and hot flashes. Why this extreme rise in body temperature doesn't increase your metabolism, is beyond me. These hormonal fluctuations make me ravenous most of the day, and regularly wake me up at night. As for exercise, there is no chance that I can develop, find or purchase any amount of stamina, endurance, physical strength or coordination. I have tried bicycling, skating, tennis, jogging, swimming, and golf. Unfortunately each activity proved to be personally challenging to me. I am a klutz with no sense of balance, who has the uncanny ability to fall over at any given moment. I have always missed every ball in every sport I ever attempted to play and I have a phobia of wasps, bees, and great white sharks. I have 3 slipped disks in my back so I'm always in some degree of pain. My cholesterol level is 340... and that's AFTER taking medication to bring it down. 

So, although I clearly have a lot of reasons to get myself into better condition, those same reasons are going to make it a lot harder to get there…  (stay tuned)

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