Friday, January 23, 2004

Even Dead Neighbors Gossip

So after the Obituary is in the paper, the Viewing is over and your eulogy recited, where are you going to spend the rest of eternity?  I'm still undecided.  It's forever you know.  It's not like you can change your mind after you're there.  I think I'm definitely against burial.  It's cold, dark and wet.  There are bugs.  Plus the family will feel compelled to traipse out to the cemetery to visit me, and I don't want any of their holidays to include a trip to the grave yard.  So I guess I'll pick cremation, but where do I want my ashes?  I always loved the movie, 'The Bridges of Madison County'.  I thought it was so romantic when Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep had their ashes mingled together and scattered off a local bridge so they could be together forever.  But if I die before Ray, he will have to hold on to my ashes until HE dies.  Should I risk being misplaced at the bottom of some box, unceremoniously mixed with an assortment of paper clips, key rings and batteries?  Will they even be able to FIND me when Ray passes on?  The idea of being scattered in an exotic place is intriguing, but there's no guarantee where you're going to land.  I'd hate to spend eternity on the windshield of an old truck that just happened to be driving by.  Maybe I should just wait for Ray in the 'wall' (our columbarium).  You know, get the place ready, make friends with the neighbors, get our new social after-life going.  Plus... I could pick out a really beautiful urn for myself.  The kids would probably still feel obligated to visit, but at least the columbarium is heated and air-conditioned.  I just hope they remember my new neighbors may be watching when they do.  I'd hate to over hear, "Oh my GOD!  Did you see what her daughter was wearing?  To visit her mother's GRAVE!?  Good thing she was DEAD already!"

GREAT NEWS! Upon further investigation I've discovered that you CAN have a viewing AND be cremated!  It just doesn't get any better than that!

14 comments:

readmereadyou said...

Okay, I love "Bridges of Madison County" too but I kept wondering about dogs going potty there. Remember the yellow dog? LOL! Anyway, I've already told my kids no visits. We aren't in there (the body) anymore. That's just the package. Like a present that's beautifully wrapped (the body), the gift is inside (the soul). The soul is who we really are. Our bodies are just so we can tell one another apart. : )
You're a terrific lady who can even make this subject funny. God love yuh!

karynetaylor said...

How come I don't remember ANY of the ashes part? Did I not see all of "Bridges"? I just remember her in the car with her family when they come home, and she sees him in town and has her hand on the door handle, but then goes home. And her kids discover the affair when they go through her things years later after her death? Did I fall asleep??

~ Karyn

lifes2odd said...

You are SO funny!!! Even dear old dad would have to love this ;-) I can't wait for more!!! Martha

redhdka said...

That is my favorite movie <the wife gets some lovin' while the hub is away> and I love the ashes part so very romantic. This was funny. Thank you Lisa!

gbgoglo said...

I don't remember the mixing of the ashes either but I love your entry!

justcherie said...

I don't want to be buried. Too creepy to think of being under the ground, not to mention the unnecessary expenses for my loved ones! But as a genealogist, I feel obliged to leave behind SOMETHING that future hunters can find. I really love walking thru cemeteries. I plan to buy a really nice marble or granite bench, and have my name and all the pertinent dates engraved for future generations. Then I'll donate it to my favorite family cemetery in PA. My family can do what they want with my ashes!

tamikolar said...

Wow. You deserved that award! I'm glad I discovered your journal, and you are an excellent writer. I will be back often.

bridgetteleigh75 said...

I couldn't agree with you more...burial IS icky. I'm leaning towards a vault. The thought of my body in flames gives me a panic attack. LOL You have a great journal....I've really enjoyed reading it.

XO ~ Bridgett
My Life With A Toddler

alphawoman1 said...

I don't know what I would do if I couldn't spend some quiet time reflecting and praying and honoring someone. The graveyard is a peaceful place. The ritual of burial is for the living to celebrate a life.
Mary

myxue said...

Wow, how excellent you are! AOL (non-affectionately known in some parts of my mind as Almost On Line) has finally done something right! By choosing you as NUMBER ONE, my faith has been altered (ever so slightly) that someone with at least half a brain is working for this congromerate. You go girl. You, Ray, your urn, and all other desires, PLEASE, keep expressing and sharing! I completely enjoyed it.

camaroisle050856 said...

Cremation seems the best. Other options include Viking Funeral, Cryogenics, Mummification, the laws vary by state. I plan on being cremated. Why take up valuable real estate for the living? I could be buried in a styrofoam coffin and wouldn't know the difference because my essence will be gone from the body. The funeral is for the living, not the dead. You shouldn't wait to say nice things about people after they are gone, you should tell them now. Enjoy your humor and writing.

slacbacmac said...

It is my habit 2 smooch the Primary penta=glow, Yet it pondres me just how close 2 the FINAL EXIT thou art? The ashes of my Father are swimming still in the cold Atlantic & it pondres him [dissolute] as well. id est, aren't we all hurtling toward Oblivion? Advisement/Explanation, courage: i bless you, with life=affirms

de2920 said...

I am a newbie to journaling, and your journal was my first dive into this world. I, too, at age 42 have been contemplating death, have been since I had 5 in my own family in a space of 2 years. (It's funny how few people want to get into an indepth debate as to the pros and cons to burial/cremation, funeral/just forget about it decisions we make.

ckays1967 said...

LMAO!!