Friday, March 26, 2004

Facing Temptation

10 days.  8 pounds.  I haven't maimed or killed anyone yet, so I guess I'm doing quite well.  My friends at work are astonished.  No one ever thought I'd last this long.  I went food shopping today with Ray.  Usually, I only do eat out or take out food.  We really shouldn't have gone there while I was so hungry though.  I was FINALLY able to go 8-12 hours without eating and I got my blood tests done this morning, and we decided to pick up a few items on the way home.  By the amount of people in the Shop Rite I have to assume that many people still cook and use real food.  Thank God Ray was with me.  I'd like to say that even if I were alone I would have been able to withstand all of the temptation, but I think I would be lying.  Grapes, juicy peaches, plums and bananas in the fruit section.  Ice cream in with the frozen foods.  Lucky Charms in the cereal aisle.  Ready Whipped Cream and tapioca pudding in the dairy section.  They even had chocolate chip mousse behind the counter with the lunch meats in the Deli.  But the hardest part was walking through the Bakery Section.  I bet they have a bakery in heaven.  There is nothing on earth like the smell of cinnamon.  I saw blueberry muffins with sugar crumb topping.  Strawberry Short Cakes.  Cherry Danish.  Chocolate layer cake with butter cream icing.  The temptations were almost too much to bear.  Actually they WERE too much.  If Ray hadn't been riding shot gun for me I would still be there.  Only a SWAT Team and a sharp shooter would have been capable of taking me out.  Shoppers would grab their children and run to the exit doors, fearing for their very lives.  The store manager would beg me over the intercom not to rip open any more packages of sticky buns.  Newscasters would interview my neighbors on live TV.  "She seemed like such a quiet woman.... We're totally shocked."  The surveillance cameras would show me clutching a Jewish Apple Cake to my chest.  Eyes wild and glazed.  Melted chocolate and powdered sugar all over my face.  "Come any closer and I'll eat another one!  I mean it!" 

12 comments:

redhdka said...

Thats great 8lbs though. But I could never do it. I will not give up my carbs. I'll try another way.

redhdka said...

You have such a beautiful family. Your daughters have such sweet smiles. And you are so pretty and fine that I don't think you need to lose a pound. I love the way the cats come up to us when we lay on the floor. They think its so cute. And your entry I was laying I read it in bloglines before i saw the pictures and all i could think of was sillinnneessssssss

sonensmilinmon said...

WoW ~ 8 pounds ... give yourself a nice pat on the back! Well, done.
Though I should add you really look good now as you are ... no fat there!
Your daughters are beautiful ... I can tell Brandon's mommy thinks he's the best guy around. :)

Smilin Mon

itsjustusinnc said...

YAY!!! Congrats on teh 8 lbs! 200 sit-ups? Wow! You're really going for the gusto! And if this wasn't the funniest entyry I've seen today, I don't know what is! LOL! You've got quite the imagination on you! Lovely family pics! :-)

Gregg

readmereadyou said...

You have a beautiful family! You're looking great. You really don't need to lose a pound. Thanks for the laughs in the entry. You're a better woman than I am. I would have bought the mousse and the blueberry muffins and ate them in the car. LOL!

slowmotionlife said...

OMG.. I'm on such a strict diet that I'm not even allowed to READ this entry. LOL I'm drooling here. Dang. tehehe...

Congrats on your 8lb. loss!! Woohoo!!!

lifes2odd said...

8 pounds in 10 days is great! I'm jealous!!! The end cracked me up!!! Martha~ Imaginary New Life

jjfgiuffre said...

Sorry I haven't been able to visit your Journal but I have been pretty busy and as you know time goes by fast. You're been writting some nice and interesting items and Im glad Im able to come visit again. All is well with me and my son and and I'll be updating my Journal soon. I hope to return more often then I have.
Take care,
John G.

chanceelynn1 said...

what I want to know is...how do u put all those graphics in???.....oh yeah....ur a riot!!!!

andreakingme said...

I loved the photos and your wacky commentary! I was HORKING over here (and I'm at work, dang it).

But, Lisa? You already look like knock-out material. (Holy C. 45 to 60 minutes of stair stepping? 200 sit-ups? Excuse me while I go pass out. Pant, pant.)

You're doing great, blondie!

somenuttychic said...

ROTFL

The image you painted in this one is priceless! More! More!

themysticelixir said...

This is absolutely hilarious! You are an excellent comedic writer. I've only read the one entry so far, but I will definitely be back to read more! Great work. Don't fight the temptation too hard though, sometimes a girl just needs a chocolate bar!

Janelle