Congratulations!

I'd like to congratulate all the winners in this years VIVI AWARDS!  Each one is a talented writer who takes time out of their busy lives to entertain, enlighten and inspire us in some way, each and every day. 

Please take the time to visit and congratulate them on their achievements.  You just might find a fascinating new Journal along the way!

Click this link to see the complete list of the 2005 Vivi Award winners:
http://journals.aol.com/pattboy92/VIVIAwards/entries/428

I'd like to say that I was absolutely THRILLED to see that some of my own personal favorites were selected as winners!  Way to go, guys!

Tilly, my new friend from England who finds the time to write a fantastic Journal while raising SIX kids.  Talk about multi-tasking!  She has a WILDLY entertaining Journal, which took THREE Awards!  Don't miss it!
Adventures Of A Desperately Fat Housewife

Journal of the Year went to Pamela,
of One Girls' Head Noise.  Well deserved.  She's funny, down to earth and an inspiration to all of us!

Lord of the Blog went to a sweet and sexy guy named Jimmy.  He writes The Stupid Sheet Guy.  Sorry ladies... but I called dibbs on him last week!

Don't go ANYWHERE until you've read and memorized Alphawoman's Blog which won Best Travel Journal.  Even if you can'tget away, you'll love her stories and photos!

Most Outspoken Journal Award will be shared by two amazing journals.  I can't imagine starting the day without reading each of them.
Mrs.Linklater's Guide To The Universe and Screamin' Remo.

ALL the winning Journals are great!
Congratulations to each and every one of them!

And a special thank you to the people who worked so hard to make these Awards possible in the first place.  I hope you know how much it means to these writers, win or lose.

 

This Was My Finest Hour...

Not having anything better to do today, I decided to take on a project of monumental proportions.  One that brings inner peace and satisfaction like no other.  One that I can brag to my friends about, and illicit suprised but admiring looks.  An accomplishment that will make me the envy of all my neighbors, and will probably be mentioned in my obituary should I die sometime in the near future.

I completed a project that's deemed extremely difficult even by people who have climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro or won the Nobel Peace Prize.  A goal that requires such a degree of physical strength that it's commonly turfed off by women to the men in their lives, if they're lucky enough to have one.  And it's such a complex task, that you can't even hire someone else to do it for you.

Yes... today... I did it.

I cleaned out my garage.

By myself.

I was going to take before and after pics, but I didn't want to make the rest of you feel bad. It's OK.  Not all of us have the time, the energy and the endurance for such a feat.  Many, many people have catastrophic messes that they zealously hide behind closed garage doors.  Well guarded family secrets that force them to frantically scan the streets for prying eyes before opening those doors and getting out their cars.  If the cars can even FIT in their garages in the first place.

But don't be ashamed.  Statistics show that 90% of all Americans have a messy garage.  And that cleaning out their garages are on everyone's Top 10 Things To Do on any given weekend.

Sadly... with the world the way it is today, most people never get to complete that list.  Some... never even start it.  And I've heard rumors that there are a few people that don't even HAVE a To Do List.

I know... these statistics ARE frightening.  But they're true.  Please don't let your children read this.  They have plenty of time to discover these horrors when they're older and better able to handle such knowledge.

But now... my goal achieved ... I am here to offer myself as a role model.  A beacon of light for you to emulate on your darkest days.  A simple woman, who may have previously been construed as unmotivated, now to be forever portrayed as a heroine of organization.  And I am willing to accept my duty to make myself available to answer questions and offer advice to those individuals who don't know where or how to even start such a project.

For I was once like you.  Living in constant fear that the police would have to investigate a crime that took place in my garage, where they would witness the squalor that I lived in, day after day.  That a team of unfortunate forensic scientists would be forced to devote the rest of their careers to sifting through my personal crime scene, to sort out potential evidence.  Terrorized about the potential testimony they would give in Court.  Prosecutor:  "And had you EVER, at any time in your long career, Detective Munch, seen a garage in such a state of disarray?"  Detective Munch:  "No, sir.  NEVER!"  I'd have to hang my head in shame when the jury gasped in horror and looked at me with disgust.

And I can now admit that I always secretly feared that I would be contacted by Stephen King asking to write a book based on my clutter.

But... no more.  I can proudly fling open my garage doors and let the world see what's inside.  I could even invite tour groups to visit.  It's possible once the news of this gets out that I might be asked to give inspirational speeches.  Maybe have my garage featured in a newspaper article.  I wouldn't be suprised if Martha Stewart herself, asked me to be a guest on her show.  Maybe even a co-host!  I could begin a new career as a garage cleaning expert.  Hired to autograph pics of my garage at Home Depots across America.  It's within the realm of possibility that the CIA may clear me to offer guidance to President Bush and the First Lady when they decide to clean out their garage!

Yes!  It was an ordinary day in the ordinary life of a DWF in New Jersey.  But... it changed the entire world as we knew it.

Now physically spent, emotionally drained and finished sharing my great success... there is nothing left for me to do, but watch some old episodes of 'Seinfeld'.

So if you'll excuse me...

What ever happened to "The Occupant"?

Allright, already!  Many Dear Readers have written to ask me what the heck I have been doing with myself, since apparently, it's not writing! I must say that I have been pretty busy.  Doing what, inquiring minds want to know?  Let's see... I moved out of Ray's house in December and back in with my kids.  One small step for man... I know, I know.  It was a backwards step, but they needed me. Then my Mom died, my sister went missing, I decided to buy my own house, spent weeks filling out mortgage applications that wanted to know everything about me including the date of my last Pap Test, packed everything up and moved in, found out the house was contaminated with mold, hired someone to eliminate it, had my lawn ruined in the process, found a landscaper to fix that problem, called a lawyer to see if I could make the previous owners pay for the mold remediation, had a check-up from my doctor, was told I had thyroid cancer, used my summer vacation time to have a surgeon remove my entire thyroid gland, discovered that although it left one heck of a nasty scar it really WASN'T cancer afterall, broke up with Ray, joined a Dating Club, placed a new pic of myself in the About Me section of my journal, copied all of the pics in my photo albums to help the kids make a Father's Day Gift for their Dad since I had taken all of them when I left, went off of my hormone replacement pills, was listed in The Guinness Book Of World Records for the Most Consecutive Hot Flashes Experienced In One Afternoon, convinced my gynecologist to put me back on the hormones, painted my new living room, attended a Bar-B-Que given by my ex-husband and his new wife, had my gutters cleaned and capped, waterproofed my basement, bought a puppy, gave him away after he chewed up all of my furniture, planted 300 tulip and daffodil bulbs in the yard, and made tombstones out of Styrofoam to put on my lawn for Halloween.

Other than that... I haven't done a thing!  But thanks for asking!

My 50th Birthday

Fifty years.  My God!  Where did the time go?  When I was a little girl the days seemed so long.  Now, they go by in the blink of an eye.  Most of the time I’m too busy to even notice.  Fifty years.  A half of a century.  When do I get my gold watch?
So what has changed in my life?  I am a bigger person than I used to be.  At least four sizes and 40 pounds bigger.  I don’t see things as clearly as I used to, but I’m not sure I want to. 
I've discovered that baseball caps, sunglasses and baggy clothes are Key to middle-age living.  I don’t even wear  as much make-up as I did before.
I am convinced that menopause is the devil’s curse.  Hot flashes, mood swings and forgetfulness are a part of my daily life.

Every now and then, I do think about exercising.  Usually after I run out of potato chips.
I hate climbing steps and I hate my boss.  Maybe not in that order though. It's frustrating to be the only one who knows just exactly how great I am.
I decided that I don’t like sex anymore.  It interferes with my TV watching and my nap time.  I still have lustful urges, but now it's for cherry danish and ice cream. 
My kids are annoying.  They are at that age where they just won’t listen and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.  Those 'terrible late twenties'.  You would think that by now, they would have realized that I am almost always right.  About everything.  I wish I had someone like me to run to and ask advice.
The only person who truly realizes the degree of my greatness is my 3 year old grandson.  What a cuti-pie he is.  And smart, too.  There is nothing that he thinks I can’t do.  He tried to get me to climb a cyclone fence the other day, so we could walk down to the lake. 
I started teaching my grandson the important things in life.  Things he can remember me by.  Like squirting whip cream into your mouth right out of the can and collecting seashells on the beach. 

I used to put money aside to save up for a face lift.  Now I'm going to use that money to take Brandon to Disneyworld.

 

I finally have my priorities in order. 

                                                                  
                                           My parents, Geri and Ray.

                                                                   

                  At age 16, I ran away to Elkton, Maryland to get married.

                                                               
                                  We had three kids by the time I was 22.

                                                                
                                   Soon after our third child was born,
                                we built our first house in New Jersey.

                                                                 
                           I became a Licensed Practical Nurse in 1983.

                                                                   
                                                 My husband graduated
                                 from the State Police Academy in 1984.

                                                                
                                         I graduated from college in 1988
                                          and became a Registered Nurse.
                              I only wish my Dad could have lived to see it.

                                                    
                                     We built out 'dream house' in 1997.

                                                      
                    We took our last family vacation in 1998 to Hawaii.
                 In 1999 I filed for a divorce and we sold the house.

                                                           
                                 On April 7, 2002 my grandson Brandon
                                         was born to my daughter, Tina.

                          
                      My son Joe married his wife, Bonnie in June of 2002.

                                                         
                           I went on to become a Nursing Supervisor.

                                                  
                           
                                       When my 'Mid-Life Crisis' hit,
                              I tried skydiving and Stand-Up Comedy.

                                                                  
                               My guy Ray and I met On-Line in August 2002.

                                                                 
                                              Now, I live with Lisa Jr, Tina,
                                           my "honorary daughter", Kathy,
                                               and my grandson, Brandon.

                                                        
                                             And I'm happy and content
                                     being a mother and a grandmother.

                                                   
                                      On the ground and off the stage...
                       Wrinkled, saggy and wearing baggy clothes...

                        Out of shape, sweaty and totally exasperated...

                                     Tired, partially senile and broke...

                                              I've never been happier.

                                It just doesn't get any better than this!

 

                        So what's in store for me in the next 50 years?

                                         I can hardly wait to find out!

My Sister's Keeper

                                              

She lives somewhere on the streets of Los Angeles.  No home, no car and no job.  She has family in Philadelphia and New Jersey, but she doesn't want to come back home.   It's a day to day existence for her, trying to keep warm, find food, and avoid getting mugged.  Her 6 cats follow her wherever she goes and she sees to it that they eat before she does.    She has a husband who lives on the street, too.  He works once in a while when he's sober.  Like the very few men before him, he beats her when he's drunk.  They never had any children.  Thank God.

Not a day went by that her mother didn't worry about her.  She'd send money whenever she could, and spend all day waiting by the phone on Holidays hoping that she'd call.  Not anymore though.  Her mother died on January 28th and she doesn't even know it.   It's hard to notify someone when they don't have an address.  Her family tried to contact the lady who used to accept her mail, but she doesn't have a telephone either and she won't write back.  They asked the LA Police to stop by, and they were informed that no one was home.  The police left a note on the lady's door, but no one has called.

Linda isn't a mental patient, though I can't imagine anyone being in a sound state of mind and choosing the life that she has.  She used to be very smart and very pretty.  She had so much to offer, but... no takers.  Linda was a dancer once.  Ballet, jazz and tap.  She had a teaching degree.  She read thousands of books and was once the web master of a travel page.  Odd, that.  Linda never traveled anywhere herself.
 
Linda is my oldest sister.  We haven't heard from her in 6 months.  She never  cashed the money order that my Mom sent to her at Christmas.  The only phone number she knows is my mom's and it's not in service anymore.  My Mother moved out of her house last July and Linda doesn't even know the new address.  She couldn't contact us if she wanted to.   Maybe someone out there has seen her.  Her name is Linda Buffington.  Her husband's name is Donnie.  She's about 5'4" and weighed about 125 pounds the last time I saw her.  She had shoulder length, gray hair, and green eyes.  She is 56 years old, but she always looked younger than her age.  Her teeth are starting to decay.  She's a heavy smoker and adores cats. 

Can you help me find her?  Write to me.  Thanks.  OnMiOwnNow2@aol.com.

                                           

UPDATE:  Thanks to the efforts of the LA Police Department my sister was found and told about my mother's death.  Sadly... she won't come back home and since my mother is gone, I doubt that we'll ever hear from her again.

In Memorium

  My Mother's Time  

          

          Geraldine M. Leonardo
             October 26, 1928  -  January 28, 2005

                        

Ten Christmas's

                                            

Ten Christmas's from now
you won't remember how many lights you put up,
how many cards you got back,
or how many parties you were invited to.
It won't matter if it snowed on Christmas Eve,
or if anyone came late for Christmas dinner.
No one will recall how much time and money you spent shopping, or how nicely you wrapped the gifts.
It won't be important anymore that your house
wasn't always neat and tidy
when company stopped by to visit.
Ten Christmas's from now
you'll only remember baking cookies with the kids, drinking hot chocolate after Christmas Mass,
and stealing kisses under the mistletoe
with the one you love.
You'll still remember visiting old friends, reading Christmas Stories to the children,
and calling your grandmother to tell her how much you loved the afghan she crocheted for you.
When you close your eyes ten Christmas's from now
you'll still be smiling when you remember the looks on their faces when your children woke up
on Christmas morning and discovered that Santa had eaten all the cookies they left out for him.
Ten Christmas's from now the only memories you'll cherish will be the ones you hold in your heart.
The smiles, the laughter, the joy, the singing,
and the hugs.

Christmas is love.   Fill your heart with it.

Happy Holidays to all my friends and Readers.
Here's hoping that 2005 will be a great year for all of us!