Those Three Little Words

I think I’m a pretty good Mom.  Not the best… but… pretty good.  And I find myself saying three little words to my children almost everyday.  Apparently, they never get tired of hearing them.

Get a job!

I’ve whispered it, suggested it, shouted it, screamed it.. nothing works.  They have a million excuses.  They were sick, had a headache, sunburn, blisters, a broken toe, a cold sore, had a flat tire, there was no hot water to take a shower, the car wouldn’t start, there was no babysitter, they were having a bad hair day, they couldn’t find their resume, the printer was out of ink so they couldn’t print out a new one, they had a doctor’s appointment, the cable TV guy was coming, their best friend was having a crisis that only they could help her through, the alarm didn’t go off, someone gave them the wrong directions, they ended up at the wrong address, it was too hot and the car air conditioner wasn’t working, the roads were bad, they had written down the wrong date, they didn’t have enough gas in the car to make it there and back… the list goes on and on.

 

I usually have one answer to all their complaints about life.

“I’m bored.”  You’ll have plenty of money if you just get a job.

“I’m broke.”  You’ll have plenty of money if you just get a job.

“There’s never any food in the house.”  You can go food shopping if you just get a job.

“I never meet any decent guys.”  You’ll meet plenty of men if you just get a job.

“I have nothing to wear.”  You guessed it.  You’ll have plenty of clothes if you just get a job.

 

I sometimes wonder why they talk to me at all.  They know what my answer will be before I even give it to them.  Get a job.  Too bad watching Jerry Springer and spending countless hours on YouTube and My Space doesn't count for something.  They'd have a PhD by now.

 

I bet after Moses climbed the mountain and God gave him the Ten Commandments he added, “Moses… get a job.”

 

How could I have raised such unmotivated children? My son is a hard worker.  What happened to his sisters?  Now that they’re older they can’t afford to work for minimum wage.  But since they have no real work experience, no one will pay them any more than that.

 

“All my friends have CAREERS.”

All your friends went to college.

“Why didn’t you make ME go?”

 

What? Yes.  Of course.  It’s my fault.  What was I thinking?  I’m glad that all their lying around on the couch hasn’t been for nothing.  They were busy figuring out what caused their present plight.  ME.

 

I don’t have as much time as they do, to figure out what’s causing mine.  I only see one reason.  I had kids.  And only one answer.  Get a job and move away.

 

Well, I already have a job.  All I have to do now is find a new place to live.