Never Mind

I'm a Gemini. Therefore I jump into making decisions much too quickly. Worse, I am never sure exactly what I want to do. Half the time, I'm ambivalent. I can see the good in all things. The successes in every project.

It's extremely exasperating. So... after I decided to join the thousands of writers in the below mentioned 'NaNoWriMo' I did a little research. Yes, I should have done the research before I committed myself. Hence, my previous divorce.

I found an interesting article written by two sisters who thought that reading books was actually more worthwhile than just typing out a zillion words off the top of your head. Time well spent, in other words. 

Yes, getting into the habit of writing can help an author become disciplined and perhaps successful. But reading can excite the soul and feed the mind. It can make you a better person. Teach you a lesson. Make you look at things differently.

Unless you're a Gemini. That part comes naturally to us.

I've decided to read and to study books on writing. Become the writer I want to be. Not just wish on falling stars.

Good luck to all the writers out there! Break a pencil!

Jumping In

Many of you know me as a fearless woman who is always looking for new adventures. Ready to fight for what she believes in. Tireless. Some say, a woman ahead of her time. Of course, those people only live in my mind.

However, I have had a few adventures, some of them actually dangerous and exciting. And I'm not talking paper cuts suffered from discreetly tearing out recipes from magazines in a doctor's office for a future dinner party I'll never have. I'm talking skydiving, stand-up comedy, witnessing a crime in progress, having a novel published (however short-lived the success) and finding Mr. Right.

Now, I'm about to enter something I've always wanted to do, but never did. What stopped me? Was it fear? Lack of confidence? No time? Nah. Probably more like lazy and watching too much ID on TV. 


But those days will soon be over. I'm going to start by entering 'NaNoWriMo'. Sounds exotic, doesn't it? Challenging! Exciting! Yes, that will be the new me. Mrs. Productive! This annual contest is for all writer's published and unpublished, successful and not, old or young, anyone, anywhere who has ever had a desire to write a novel. It's a way to get you away from the TV, off the couch, a no excuses excuse to write that new or next novel you've always thought about writing.

There's no winners.. only finishers. Those who dedicate themselves to writing 50,000 words in one month. Spelling, punctuation, nothing counts, except number of words. It's quantity not quality. And that, folks, is me to a tee. Always has been. You'll see.

What Happened to Summer?

Can it be? The end of summer already? Where did it go? Last winter was SO long. The summer was short in comparison. Not fair. I didn't get to go down the shore to walk on the edge of the water. Feel the hot sand between my toes. Get pizza on the boardwalk. I only swam in my pool twice. What happened to my summer vacation? There wasn't one this year. In honor of this short summer, I must showcase a pic of my youngest grandchild, Evie. Who, in one pic, epitomizes, youth, summer, curiosity, fun, fearlessness, and the innocence of childhood.

I did write a few books and stories. They were sure to be Best Sellers according to Bob (my husband), my kids (Lee, Crissy, Joe Jr and Bonnie, my grand-kids, Brandon, JT and Evie). A few of the girls at work read my Children's stories to their families and I was told they were great. But alas, those opinions, although they warned my heart, were not shared by any publishers.

If I was thirty years old, I'd just keep trying, but I'm so close to sixty I can touch it. I'm afraid I've run out of time. That the day I've dreamed of where I'll hold a book I've written in my hand, and frame it on my wall  might never come.

It's not like I haven't tried. I have friends and family who cheer me on. I have a wild, wonderful imagination given to me by God. I've been tempted lately to just publish my books on my own. I hate the words Vanity Press though. It's make me feel like I'm so full of myself, and that's not who I want to be.

My mother never gave up. But she never got anywhere, either. What a great job writing books would be! Spend every day thinking of ways to make people laugh, smile, cry, or hold their breath in suspense. Bring back memories or encourage them to explore new places and meet new people. Perhaps I might be fortunate enough to actually make a difference in their lives. Make them think in a different way to do things. Avoid making a mistake. Give them the strength to try again or continue their journey. What a gift that would be. 

Keep your fingers crossed for me. Will ya?
Thanks.
Special thanks to a great blogger Kristen Lamb. A writer who dedicates so much of her time to helping OTHER authors achieve their dream!! Is that a selfless act, or what?

Happy Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day is upon us. I can't imagine the day doesn't impact just about everyone in the entire world in some way.

Some people are children and don't even know much about Mother's Day. But their mom's know how fortunate they are to have been given such precious gifts from God.

Some people never had a mom to love and take care of them, and they disprove the old adage "You don't miss what you never had."

Some people had a mom, but for one reason or another, she was incapable of giving them the love they so desperately wanted. No one will ever know her reasons, but they must be there. They must.

Some people have lost their mother's. And no matter how long they have been gone, they still miss them. Time doesn't always heal all wounds.

As a woman who has lost her mother years ago, let me give you some advice. If your mother is still here... love her. Tell her you love her. You may not think it would make much of a difference to her, but it will. Call her. Someday you'll want to call her, but she won't be there. Spend time with her. Laugh with her. Ask her all kinds of questions. The answers will be important to you someday. Treat her with respect. She has lived longer than you and has given up more things for you than you'll ever know. She may not tell you, but you are never, ever out of her mind or her heart. No matter how old you are, she still worries about you. No one wants more for you than your mother. She is your biggest fan and best cheerleader. She'll love you no matter what you do. If she makes faces at you, yells at you or berates you, it's only because she wants so much for you. She'd rather fail herself than see you fail.

Hug your Mom today, on this precious Mother's Day. You have no idea how much I envy your opportunity. 

And Mom... I love you. I always have. I miss you so much. You enriched my life in so many ways and I never told you. I'm sorry about that. I wish you could have seen my kids grow up. They are pretty awesome. I wish you could see my grand-kids. They are so smart and beautiful. Tell daddy I said "hi", and that I miss him, too.

I wish heaven had visiting hours.

My New Career

According to the Talent Acquisition Manager at my hospital, we are about to enter an exciting phase of our working careers! 

Our division will be"transitioning" in the next few months. We will no longer be an acute care hospital, we will be a Long Term Care and Acute Care Facility,where none of us, will be eligible to be hired. Wow. That is exciting. I can hardly wait.

I could possibly be out of work, with no health benefits at a time in my life where I need medical care just about every week. The recruiter said I should "broaden my horizons". I think they're about as broad as they're gonna get. I feel sorry for the younger employees. They have longer to live than I do. If I have to be unemployed I hope at least my husband and I stay healthy until we get medical

benefits.

BTW... let me take this opportunity to shamelessly promote myself. I have always been interested
in being rich and famous. Now, I'll have the time to pursue that ambition! If you know anyone
who is looking for a person to make rich and famous ... I'm your woman. I have many, many
talents, too many to list here, but I will furnish you with said list at your request. Just send me a
SASE (I'm about to be out of work, you know).

I am an unsuccessful writer with lots of talent. I'm a lousy speller but I have spell check. I can only type with two fingers, but I'm pretty fast.
I don't like to get up early,  but I can stay up late if necessary.
I used to be a good nurse. I don't think the human body parts have changed since I went to
nursing school thirty years ago, but just in case, I can Google it. I'm great at telling other people
what to do, which is natural, since I'm somewhat of a control freak. Since I am no longer young or
skinny, it would probably be best not to put me at the front desk. If there is more than one
floor, I'll require an elevator. I have a phobia of driving, so I prefer to work close to my home. I
should mention here, that I work best in my pajamas. Flannel ones. I do have a pacemaker, but that will enable me to continue to show up for work long after I'm dead. I am too old to get pregnant, so you won't have to put up with those inconvenient
maternity leave requests. 

My children are all grown, so there won't be any day care teachers calling me at work. 
 All that being said, you can reach me most anytime on Face Book, making whimsical and sometimes profound comments. I look forward to hearing from you.

Nurse's Day

 
 
May is the month we celebrate Nurses. I doubt there are very many people in this world whose lives haven't been touched in some way by a nurse.

 Nurses are people who will do things for you that your own family wouldn't do. They do it without making you feel embarrassed, disgusting, grotesque, contagious or anything other than worthy of their care. They do it with gentleness, kindness and patience, despite the personal nightmares they are facing in their day to day lives. They do it no matter how much physical pain they may be suffering themselves.

 They support you and your family even though there may be no one to support them during their own times of grief. They miss holidays, school trips, birthdays, kid's sports games, friends weddings, all kinds of events they'd love to attend because they must work holidays and weekends.They work long hours, and indulge in physical labor like lifting, turning, and pushing stretchers of patients who may weigh over 500 pounds.

 Nurses are frequently chastised by patients, family members, doctors and administrators for any number of complaints that aren't even their fault. 

No injury is too horrific for them to render life saving measures, both on and off-duty, no bodily excrement is too offensive for them to clean up. Nurses are exposed to deadly diseases and chemicals. Surrounded by germs. Must wash unfortunate patients who may be homeless or bedridden, and haven't been bathed for weeks or even months. They are sometimes physically and/or verbally attacked. They are expected to show up to work no matter how sick they or their families are, to attend to the ailments of complete strangers.
 
Nursing school is extremely difficult. They are expected to know when the doctor has made an error in his orders, and correct it, even though they didn't go to medical school themselves. As tired as they are, their own families expect the same amount of care and attention from them as if they didn't work at all.

 Many, many nurses work well beyond retirement age because they can't afford medical benefits. The same medical personnel who have dispensed medications during their entire careers to those who couldn't afford it. And now, when they need it, there is nothing, not even a discount, offered to them for their service. 

Still, do we hear their cries of pain, injustice, unfairness, or even a complaint? No. Why? Because these compassionate, loving people with hearts of gold... are nurses. 

And if you were to ask one what she does for a living... she or he will smile sincerely, and say, "I'm a nurse!"

Thank you, dear ladies and gentlemen for the loving care you have bestowed upon me and my family. May the invisible wings you wear on your backs carry you straight to heaven when God calls you home.

I'd like to remember two close friends, who helped me through nursing school and the following year which I swore I'd never survive. They are now in Heaven, and I hope they are having the best time ever!

 My friend, Pat Wild, who was so much more than a friend and the best nurse I ever met. I miss you, Pat.

My friend Joyce O'Neal who made us laugh all through school and managed to overcome unbelievable obstacles. I miss you, Joyce!

Lost On The Road To Fame and Fortune

A few years ago all I dreamed about was getting a book published. I envisioned subsequent book signings, the interviews, getting on the NY Times Best Seller List, and perhaps, maybe... a nomination for the Pulitzer prize. I expected there to be requests for my autograph and E-mails from numerous new writers across the country, asking me for tips on getting published themselves.

I planned to move to the countryside, where my office would be in a room with a large picture window facing a magnificent view. My desk would be in front of that window, so during breaks I could look up from my computer and enjoy the scenery. I would shop for the most comfortable chair ever, so the numerous hours spent weaving future (also successful) tales wouldn't be too hard on my back.

I was contemplating whether I should look into a microphone, so I could speak those tales into the computer instead of typing them. I'm pretty fast using only two fingers, but I could get a lot more books written if I used the automatic system. I wrote out numerous dedications for future books, to make sure I thanked everyone who needed to be thanked. 

I read up on writing screen plays as well, as some of my books might be turned into great movies someday. The screen writer is always the one who gets the Oscar, not the author, and I wanted that little golden statue on my mantle piece. Naturally, I spent many a sleepless night forming an acceptance speech in my mind.

I hate driving, so I wondered if I should hire a driver for my long distance excursions for book signings and tours, or just purchase an RV and let my husband drive me around the country. It would be fun and we could take the dogs along.

I decided that yes, I would be more than happy to make speeches at the schools I attended, and in the classrooms of my grandchildren, if I were asked.

I promised myself I wouldn't let fame and fortune change me. I would remain humble, grateful and never forget the people who helped me get where I was.

Seems I may have been a bit premature, or perhaps, wasted a lot of time worrying about the details. Maybe my wish wasn't quite clear, because although I did get my first book 'Passing Whispers' published, none of the aftermath I envisioned came to be. Not much happened at all. I felt like a teenager who was stood up on prom night. All dressed up with nowhere to go. In fact, my contract with Devine Destinies expired and I signed a new contract with Environmental Publishing. It will be re-released sometime this year.

It seems that getting published might be the easy part. Good grief. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. The eight year old daughter of my middle daughter's old best friend from high school DID ask me to autograph a piece of paper for her. That's something. Right?

And when 'Passing Whispers' comes out again this years, maybe the new publisher will show it to the right people. Maybe it will sell like wild fire and I will be on the NY Times Best Seller List after all! And then...

Or not. Sigh.

What About Bob

Hasn't anyone wondered what became of me the past few months? Aww, c'mon. Somebody did. Those who know and work with me already know about Bob. I joined a Dating Site in February, just to browse. Talk about a fantastic shopping experience! I found the Perfect Man. I ordered him right away, lest some other lucky girl snagged him up first. After a few 'flirts', E-mails, telephone calls (with that sexy, deep voice of his!) we decided to meet at AppleBee's. Dinner lasted three and a half hours. We were talking, not eating. LOL. Then, the next week, he took me to see the circus, since I had never gone before. We had a great time, and he offered to help me and my daughters move to our new house. It had already been planned, and I hated to impose on him, but he was strong (an iron worker by trade), in better shape than me (he belongs to a gym and actually goes), he was willing and he had a truck. Perfect. Plus, it gave us an excuse to spend hours and hours together, which led to us becoming inseparable.

And now??? We're engaged to be married! Yes, it's true! Don't feel bad if you're in shock and disbelief. I was too. Not to mention my kids. The ceremony will take place on February 12, 2012. Our one year anniversary. Some may think it a bit rushed, but not us. At my age, I know what I want, and I'd like to walk down the aisle before I need a cane.

Now, my previously empty, dull and boring days, with a social calendar as wide open as Texas, is now full, busy and exciting. Unpacking the new house. Merging my stuff with Bob's stuff (but to tell you the truth, it wasn't too difficult as his stuff was better than my stuff. Oops. I hope none of my stuff is reading this. Sorry.) In return for his unceasing help in hanging shelves, drilling holes and all that man-type stuff, I am helping him move down here. He's from central Jersey, and will be putting his house up for sale soon. I'm also learning how to plan a wedding,I bought a Bowflex machine and have been working out like a fiend, and have been looking into dance lessons. How cool would it be for Bob and I to stun and amaze our friends attending our wedding reception like we were from 'Dancing With The Stars'?
Bob bought me the most awesome diamond engagement ring, which is dazzling under every conceivable light. I know, cause I've LOOKED at it under every conceivable light.
I got to meet his sister and her husband who live in Massachusetts for a weekend. I'll meet his parents in a few weeks.

I've been glued to the Internet looking at wedding gowns, bridesmaids gowns, wedding cake toppers, garters, ring bearer pillows, invitations, photograohers, DJ's, best song sites, churches and reception halls. Who needs a wedding planner?