Who me—worry?

I have always been a worrier. I probably worried about the other babies in the nursery shortly after I was born.There's nothing I haven't worried about. My family and friends. Co-workers. Neighbors. My Readers. Facebook friends and their families. Celebrities. Politicians. Foreign governments. Global Warming. My dogs. My granddaughter's kitten. My M-I-L's elderly dog.

Rainforests. Animals on the endangered species lists. Missing Children.

I worry about my own health and everyone else's. The Deficit. Our troops. The American Economy. Crime. The unemployed. How long will Social Security last? Violence in schools and bullies. Sex offenders. The people at church. My Pastor. His wife. The list goes on and on.

Sometimes I worry that I'm not worried enough. Or that I haven't worried about something I should have been worried about. It bothers me when I see other people who don't seem to be worried at all. I worry that their lack of worrying will cause future catastrophes. 

I wonder if worrying will prevent bad things from happening, or lessen the degree of a particular incident. Sort of like a Catholic's Purgatory. If you say enough prayers while you're living, you won't have to spend as much time in Purgatory after you die.

I worry that my anxieties might be a... problem. I suppose I could seek counseling or go on medication. But then I'd have to worry about making appointments, getting there, remembering to take the pills and the adverse effects of anti-anxiety agents on my body.

Somebody has to do the worrying. Don't worry. I got your back!

You bet I'm old!

I finally decided that since I can't stop the aging process I might as well make the most of it. Once you accept the inevitable, you're free to explore the possibilities!

Watching TV commercials has introduced me to a whole new world of convenience. Hurri-Canes. Granny Go-Carts. Depends (the pretty ones). Walk-In Tubs (I must admit the heated seat, jets, and aromatherapy sound pretty good!) The cell phones and iPads for seniors look easy. I can eat corn on the cob again if I get dentures and use Polygrip. Who needs a home security system when I can wear an emergency button around my neck? Someone will even talk back to me if I'm lost or have a medical question. How cool is that? Hearing aids are now discreet and you can eavesdrop on conversations across the room! 

My kids don't need to feel they're neglecting me anymore... I can have my very own 'angel' visit every day, fold my laundry and pretend she's interested in looking at my old photos. For just pennies a day I can have the funeral of my dreams! My family won't be left with unpaid bills, so they'll have lots of money to buy me a really pretty floral arrangement. 

With senior discounts, clubs, make-up, fab resorts, dating sites, and swinging complexes—getting old has never been more exciting. I bet soon you'll hear savvy men and women saying, "I'm 54 and A HALF years old," cause they can't wait to join AARP. For the second time in our lives, we'll be using fake ID's.

And sometimes you're the bug...

When I first started writing this blog years ago my mission statement was that someday I wanted to find my place in the world. Where I wasn't just 'The Occupant' of my domain. I wanted to be the owner. Where 'all the mail was addressed to me'. I came close so many times. I could taste it. Feel it. Now I wonder... how many times does a person have to fall off a bike before they realize that they just can't ride? Apparently many times.

I've been writing and dreaming of becoming a successful author since I was a little girl. My first taste of success was writing a daily blog on AOL back in 2003. I was named 'AOL's Editor's Choice' TWICE! For a few hours on those two days if you signed onto AOL you'd see my picture and a description of my blog (and a link to it) on the opening page! I was actually contacted by a literary agency in New York City who wanted me to re-write the blog and have it published in book form. I was on my way (or so I thought).

Well, AOL decided to stop offering blogs so I moved to Blogger. But without a forwarding address I lost most of my Readers. After talking to the NY agents for a few hours I knew I wouldn't be able to write all about my adventures as a newly divorced, middle aged woman from NJ including all the details they wanted without dredging up quite a few bad memories that were anything but funny and embarrassing my children, so I had to decline their offer.

As a very unusual but exciting Christmas gift my kids purchased a comedy workshop course for me at a local community college. "You're a natural!" they assured me. I did take the course and actually appeared in ten shows in the months following graduation. Although my kids probably thought I was on my way, unfortunately, I discovered that I suffered with an extreme case of stage fright that never got any better so I decided to give up performing in public.

I returned to writing and after numerous rejections I got my first book published with Devine Destinies in 2010.  Signing that contract was every bit as exciting as giving birth to a beautiful child. This time I was sure I was on my way. Alas, 'Passing Whispers' was only available as an Ebook and for some reason it didn't sell. Even my friends preferred a printed version. I put out a book trailer which I hoped would get the attention of the people who produce movies for Hallmark. It would make a wonderful Hallmark Christmas movie! Until it didn't. But I'm still hoping! I didn't renew my contract in 2012 and haven't found another publisher as yet.

In 2015 I found Tate Publishing who agreed to publish my first children's book 'There's a Monster In My Closet!' Much more successful than 'Passing Whispers' I thought I had found my niche as well as my way. Tate also agreed to publish my second children's book 'The Snow Lord and the Spring Fairy'. That book was supposed to be released in March 2017. Once again, fate intervened and Tate Publishing closed its doors before the book ever hit the shelves of Amazon.

Now I know all the stories about other authors like Stephen King, whose wife retrieved his last novel out of the trash where he had thrown it, only to see it discovered by a different publisher who put it out and made King a household name. Or the story about J.K. Rowling who considered suicide after years of depression and failure before introducing the world to Harry Potter, one of the most successful book series of all time.

My problem is I'm already 62 years old and I don't have an entire lifetime ahead of me to find success. Of course if you view that in the 'glass half full' sense, I am closer to the potential 'fame after death' phenomenon like Emily Dickinson, Johann Bach and Vincent van Gogh. Just kidding.
The very thought of leaving behind a legacy of greatness someday makes shopping for a tombstone a lot easier. Dare I say... exciting?

Of course that all depends on whether I'm luckier after death than I was in life. Hmmm. That thought gives new meaning to the phrase "I'm on my way!"

Turn the lights off, will you?

PS: I have a few hundred copies of 'There's A Monster In My Closet!' left that just happen to be available to you at cost. Email me and I'd be happy to sign them for a beloved child of your choice. Not a bad investment especially if I do become famous someday. Your book would be worth a fortune! Just think van Gogh! 
$6.99 includes free shipping for soft covers.
$11.99 includes free shipping for hard cover
Email me at: LisaBrooksBooks@aol.com. And no, I won't sell your information. I can't even sell mine!

What Happened to Summer?

Can it be? The end of summer already? Where did it go? Last winter was SO long. The summer was short in comparison. Not fair. I didn't get to go down the shore to walk on the edge of the water. Feel the hot sand between my toes. Get pizza on the boardwalk. I only swam in my pool twice. What happened to my summer vacation? There wasn't one this year. In honor of this short summer, I must showcase a pic of my youngest grandchild, Evie. Who, in one pic, epitomizes, youth, summer, curiosity, fun, fearlessness, and the innocence of childhood.

I did write a few books and stories. They were sure to be Best Sellers according to Bob (my husband), my kids (Lee, Crissy, Joe Jr and Bonnie, my grand-kids, Brandon, JT and Evie). A few of the girls at work read my Children's stories to their families and I was told they were great. But alas, those opinions, although they warned my heart, were not shared by any publishers.

If I was thirty years old, I'd just keep trying, but I'm so close to sixty I can touch it. I'm afraid I've run out of time. That the day I've dreamed of where I'll hold a book I've written in my hand, and frame it on my wall  might never come.

It's not like I haven't tried. I have friends and family who cheer me on. I have a wild, wonderful imagination given to me by God. I've been tempted lately to just publish my books on my own. I hate the words Vanity Press though. It's make me feel like I'm so full of myself, and that's not who I want to be.

My mother never gave up. But she never got anywhere, either. What a great job writing books would be! Spend every day thinking of ways to make people laugh, smile, cry, or hold their breath in suspense. Bring back memories or encourage them to explore new places and meet new people. Perhaps I might be fortunate enough to actually make a difference in their lives. Make them think in a different way to do things. Avoid making a mistake. Give them the strength to try again or continue their journey. What a gift that would be. 

Keep your fingers crossed for me. Will ya?
Thanks.
Special thanks to a great blogger Kristen Lamb. A writer who dedicates so much of her time to helping OTHER authors achieve their dream!! Is that a selfless act, or what?