A Public Service Announcement

As a retired registered nurse, I am frequently asked about HMO Insurances. I'd like to take this opportunity to explain some of the details your doctor and employer may have neglected to tell you.

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually an abbreviation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked in the eye. 


Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose a doctor?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing the winning numbers of the lottery. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors fall into two categories--those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, that remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country. 

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only the ones you need. 

Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment. 

Q. What if I want to try alternative forms of medicines?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment. 

Q. My prescription plan only covers generic drugs, but I need a name brand. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need a specialist, but my doctor thinks he can handle all my needs. Can a general practitioner safely perform open heart surgery in his/her office? 
A. Hard to say, but since all your risking is the $30 co-payment, give it a shot.

 
Q. Will health care be different in the next century? 
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

I hope this has cleared up some of the misconceptions about HMO's. Now get out there and find a doctor!


PS:  The above material is not meant to be taken seriously. If you are sick, see a doctor, even if you don't have any insurance at all. You don't have anything if you don't have your health. 

Spam Checkers

Maybe it's because I'm getting old and crotchety, but it doesn't take a lot to set me off now adays (including the fact that my spell checker firmly believes that 'now adays' is NOT a word. It IS! Isn't it?). 

However, there must be a certain amount of satisfaction derived from complaining. When I worked as a nursing supervisor everyone complained to me. I can only assume it's because it makes them feel better. So, today I want to rant about 'Word Verification'.

I enjoy reading many Blogs, and sometimes I leave a comment. Or, I TRY to leave a comment. I get it just right (one that will make everyone think I'm funny, clever and oh, so entertaining) and then that 'Word Verification' box comes up. Your comment will not be posted unless you type in the word that is written in the box. They claim it's to protect the Blog Writer from spam generated by computers. That only a human is able to read the 'Word Verification'.

This rubs me in all the wrong places (and usually causes me to suffer additional hot flashes I might not have had) for several reasons.

1) I write a Blog. I would gladly erase spam comments from my Blog if it made it easier for Readers to comment. I want my Readers to enjoy themselves while they're here, not suffer even one teensy speck of extra frustration. I personally know many of my Readers and believe me when I say they don't need any more frustration in their lives.

2) Does someone actually think that HUMANS don't write spam messages?

3) I'm middle-aged with LOTS of company. We Baby Boomers will soon be in the majority. (Yea Us!) Most of the time I can't READ the 'Word Verification'. They write what they think is a cleverly disguised word for us to re-type. The word is usually twisted. Sometimes the letters are typed close together, and it's hard to distinguish one from another. Often, I'm not sure if the letter is a lower case 'L' or an upper case 'I'. 

I never get it on the first attempt. Occasionally, my initial frustration is exasperated by the entire comment being erased. The one that I so cleverly wrote, but can't remember now. 

WHY DO THEY DO THIS? Why can't we just write a darn comment, and then let the Blog writer decide whether to post it or not? Why does every little thing have to be so hard? 

Where's my wine?

Leave me a comment. If you can!

Get Your Gift

Think about it.

You're given a magnificent gift.

All you have to do is accept it.

The gift will give you eternal life in a world beyond your wildest dreams.

Of course, you'd accept the gift.

Wouldn't you?

It's a no-brainer.

It cost the giver His life. He knew it would,

but he cared about you so much he gave his life willingly.

You discover that He wants to give the same gift to your children.

Your family, friends, and neighbors.

But they have to accept the gift before it's too late.

If they die first, they'll spend eternity in hell.

A place worse than your greatest fears.

You'd make sure your kids new about the man.

Make them accept the gift so you could all spend eternity together.

What kind of parent wouldn't want that for their children?

And yet, there are millions, maybe billions of people in the world

who won't accept the gift. Or tell their kids about it.

Why?

Are they crazy? Stupid?

If a stranger was giving away hundred dollar bills

I doubt there'd be a single person who would refuse.

And yet this man, the one who not only wants to give you eternal life, 

but also gave his life for us,

is turned away on a daily basis.

Just say:

 Thank you.

I accept your wonderful gift.

I certainly don't deserve it,

but I accept it.

And I will rush home and tell my family about you.

And my children. Friends and neighbors.

I love them all and I want them to share this gift with me.

And then I will spread the word to even those I've never met.

I want every person in the world to know that no matter how evil their past,

how many sins they've committed,

they will be forgiven.

That Jesus died on the cross for all of us.

Especially for the worst of us.

There is not a sin in the history of mankind

too evil to be washed away by the blood of the son of God.

What are you waiting for?

Death will claim all of us.

Accept your gift before it's too late.

Save your kids. It's your job.

Do it now.

Controlled Substances

It has come to my attention that since I have been so immersed in re-writing my novel the following situations have occurred:

1) Laundry: We have no underwear.  Even the emergency supply of older underwear is now dirty and lying beside the overflowing hamper.
2) Errands: We are out of dog treats.
3) Dusting: It is so dusty in here that it has been suggested that if anyone were to accidentally drop a seed it could take root and grow.
4) Dishes: We have no clean dishes or flatware.  The dishwasher is full.

5) Health: Nothing's getting firmer if there's dust on the rower!
6) Communication: Avid rock climbers are now asking to climb the pile of junk mail on my kitchen table for training purposes. I have over 25,000 unread Emails.
7) Beauty: My legs and brows are almost as hairy as Bob's.
8) Maintenance: There is still a Christmas wreath hanging on our front door. All my houseplants have died. 

Needless to say, I need to get my priorities in order, stop procrastinating, and get to work. So I am going to have to stop blogging on a regular basis, and just write one whenever I get the chance. 

 As soon as I finish this cup of coffee I am so out of here. The laundry is as good as done. 

I'm not even going to sign onto Facebook later to check my notifications. See? I'm already doing so well. You won't be seeing any humorous comments from me. Nope. I'll have to forgo wishing my friends a happy birthday. Stop posting cute videos and sharing meaningful sayings. No likes or LOL's. No shares. New friends will have to wait.  

Uh-oh. I think Bob is walking over to pull the plug! He's yelling, "PUT THE MOUSE DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!" Isn't he just too cute?  I should write an entry on all the cute things he does!  But not today. Sigh. OH, ALL RIGHT!  Don't forget me, guys!!  I'll be back!