I finally decided that since I can't stop the aging process I might as well make the most of it. Once you accept the inevitable, you're free to explore the possibilities!
Watching TV commercials has introduced me to a whole new world of convenience. Hurri-Canes. Granny Go-Carts. Depends (the pretty ones). Walk-In Tubs (I must admit the heated seat, jets, and aromatherapy sound pretty good!) The cell phones and iPads for seniors look easy. I can eat corn on the cob again if I get dentures and use Polygrip. Who needs a home security system when I can wear an emergency button around my neck? Someone will even talk back to me if I'm lost or have a medical question. How cool is that? Hearing aids are now discreet and you can eavesdrop on conversations across the room!
My kids don't need to feel they're neglecting me anymore... I can have my very own 'angel' visit every day, fold my laundry and pretend she's interested in looking at my old photos. For just pennies a day I can have the funeral of my dreams! My family won't be left with unpaid bills, so they'll have lots of money to buy me a really pretty floral arrangement.
With senior discounts, clubs, make-up, fab resorts, dating sites, and swinging complexes—getting old has never been more exciting. I bet soon you'll hear savvy men and women saying, "I'm 54 and A HALF years old," cause they can't wait to join AARP. For the second time in our lives, we'll be using fake ID's.
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