Dear Tide

Not too many things about menopause are funny. I should know... I'm going through it. I'd rather be going around it, but I don't think that's possible.  Anyway... once in a while I do find something on the subject that catches my eye, grabs my attention and lifts my spirits.

More often than not, it's usually something derogatory about men in general. I don't want to leave you with the impression that I don't like men. My father was a man, and I loved him. My husband is a man and I married him anyway. I have a few younger brothers who were left in my care many times with no subsequent harm. My favorite teacher was a man. More than half of the patients I have cared for in my nursing career have been men, and most of them recovered. All my girlfriends are married to men. My son grew up to be one, and there's every indication that my grandsons will be men someday as well. I love them with all my heart and soul.   

So you see, I have a long history with men. And lots of experience. No matter what we do, it appears that men are here to stay, so we might as well make the best of it. And once in a while, we can get in a chuckle or two. Here's one I had yesterday. Several times. I wish I knew who the author was so I could give her the credit she so richly deserves...

Dear Tide:

  I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have!  I've used it since the beginning of my married life when my Mom told me that it was the best.

  Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was... he complained that I drank too much... and then he insinuated that I was never a good cook either...  One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my new white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it didn't work. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, ALL of the stains came out!

   In fact, they came out so well, the detectives stopped by my house yesterday to tell me that the DNA tests they performed on my blouse were negative. Then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. This is quite a relief!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go.

I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...

Disclaimer: This is a joke. Meant to be funny. To elicit smiles and laughter from sisters suffering the throes of menopause. I like most men. I love a few of them. No men were hurt in the writing of this blog.