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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

20/20

I hate wearing glasses. At this point in my life, it's just one more thing that I put down and can't find later when I need them.  Unfortunately, I can't read a thing without them.  

Like menus. If I couldn't tell I was holding it upside down, does the waiter think that turning it around for me will make a difference? Since I can't wear my glasses in the shower how am supposed to tell the difference between the shampoo and the conditioner? The more powerful and expensive an anti-wrinkle cream is, the smaller the tube is that it comes in. Who do they think will be straining to read that microscopic print? 

The thermostat. I gave up trying to see the numbers on the display. The heat in our house is usually somewhere between sweaty and chattering teeth.  Remote Controls for TV. Most of the time I just push any old button and watch whatever brings up a picture. If I accidentally hit the 'off' button, I can always sign onto the computer.  

Microwaves. If you want me to heat it up for you it will be barely warm or liquid molten lava.  Watches.  f you ask me what time it is, the best I can do is hold out my arm so YOU can look at it. When did they stop putting seconds hands on watches?  

Caller ID. What good is it? Unless one of us is wearing our glasses when the phone rings, we have no idea who's calling. Cell phones. I have all my most frequently dialed and important phone numbers programmed into mine. But half the calls I make are to the wrong people. No big deal though.  By the time we hang up, I probably won't remember who I wanted to call in the first place.

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